CONFUSED Trapped in a body Filled with insecurities And  a | Silent words

CONFUSED

Trapped in a body
Filled with insecurities
And  a mind that doesn't Work
  the  way society wants it
Daydream of a new life
nightmares of suicide
Are the things I see all the time
Couldn't understand
Why does  this body feels
So foreign to mine
Working hard for the things I want
Loosing focus in a minute long
It's frustrating to see other people laugh
While I  am going through my 100 th mental breakdown in a 12 hour clock
Easy to say than to be done
Always reminding myself
Trusting ain't no fun
Can't speak when I have to
Couldn't stop when I want to
getting jealous of my friends
Even though I claim to love them
Stalking my ex
When I was the one who dumped them
Sometimes I feel too much
And then I just feel numb
Can't figure out
Is it my  hormones ? or
Am I  just Dumb
Right now I am laying on the floor 
wishing I could go back to my childhood
When life was good
And I wasn't confused

@silent_words_sk